In his own mind.
A woman's opinion may differ greatly, at least the conscious mind side of her will.
A woman's conscious, thinking, rational mind, will most likely say that a man being "genuine and himself " is all that is really important, all the while her social, biological and evolutionary programming are literally salivating for the guys who do have these kind of skills and exude it.
So are women lying to us then?
Well Yes and No.
Your woman is most likley telling the truth, however, She has a "specific type of man" in her mind who already exemplifies the kind of traits many in the pick up and seduction communities are desperately trying to aquire.
But that begs the question.
What about the rest of masculine humanity.
The majority of whom have no clue that when a women talks about being genuine and yourself that she has in her mind a very specific type of man who naturally exudes that so called " inner game" the pick up artists espouse.
Many of you, when I ask you in my surveys all tell me the same thing.
You want to get better at meeting, dating and seducing the apple of your proverbial eye.
The other segments of my students are men (and many women)
who want to be the best lover their partner has ever had, either by lasting longer during sex, giving your woman screaming multilple orgasms, or some combination of the thereof.
and many of my students are in long term committed relationships and over the age of 45 who want to put the spark back into their relationship.
Some are even trying to win back the woman they love due to a lack of skills, or simply get over being dumped, the list goes on.
Well for those of you who fall into any one or more of these categories.
This article is for you.
Yes we are talking about pickup, dating and seduction skills.
So your probably asking...
Ok Van Arrick,
I signed up for your program to get better at sex.
I'm 55 years old, my wife is 53 and we have been married for over 35 years what does pickup and seduction skills have to do with me, my wife and/or my relationship?
EVERYTHING.
Here is the blatant, yet often overlooked fact about marriages , the psychology of cheating, and how to put the spark back into your marriage.
There is no such thing as a MARRIED WOMAN.
Period.
Now I know out there in Married People Land everyones Cognitive Dissonance Meters Just Went Off The Scale.
What!?!
No Such This As A Married Woman, as you look at the wedding pictures of your spouse or the wedding ring on your or her finger.
You say to yourself - "I'm looking right at her and she "appears" to be a married woman?
Nope, Now I'll explain.
There is no such thing as a married woman, there are only "women" who have gotten married.
Now in the land of men this makes absolutley no sense because to our way of thinking a woman who gets married is a married woman.
It's not the same.
This can get a little in depth so please bare with me.
You see when a woman gets married, it's because she is responding to a certain set of feelings and behaviors that you activated within her that led her to make the decisions she made to marry you in the first place.
Now the interesting part is that when a woman gets married, other types of programming ( her "wife" program) kicks in and many of you may have noticed that after a certain amount of time many of the behaviors and activities you indulged in before you were married stop. Sometimes gradually some times to a crashing halt.
Consequently you enter what I call the "illusion of being married syndrome."
You may notice your sex life seems to slow down.
Other things start to become more important.
Her career if she has one, your career if she doesn't.
Her kids if she has children and everyone elses needs start to come before hers; and as the "woman" that you married sinks deeper and deeper into the "wife as a caregiver mode."
She starts having less and less time to be the "woman" who you fell in love with, who was counting on you to fulfill her dreams, desires and fantasies. The often unspoken dreams, desires and fantasies that you promised (by virtue of your behaviors) that motivated her to marry you in the first place. ( I told you this can get complex)
She stops being a woman and starts playing the "role" of the married woman,
but guess what...
Inside, she is still the same woman who had all the fantasies, passions and expectations for a future of endless adventures, romance and excitement.
She is still the woman who is capable of enjoying and behaving in the uninhibited and joyful way she did before the two of you got married.
Little by little she starts to section off parts of her life into neat little categories like...
Wife,
Mother
Social/Community Volunteer,
Good Neighbor,
Soccer Mom,
Hostess
Career Woman,
House Keeper
Cook,
Each of these begin to have their own little section in her mind and as her responsibilities grow those parts become more and more of her day to day way of acting and behaving.
But there is another side of her The deeply passionate, erotic, fantasy driven side that after a while never gets to come out to play.
And inside she's mad as hell about it.
You see you can only repress or ignore these urges for so long.
It's also the side of her you touched on and excited when the two of you started dating, its the part of her that made her fall in love with you in the first place and what ultimately moved her to marry you and accept you as her one and only man. "think about it"
Who's the guy she married.
Who is the guy she is married to now?
(Please note I am speaking in generalities here. Your particular case may be somewhat different, there are exceptions that prove the rule)
So by now you are probably asking...
So whats your point Van Arrick, "everyone goes through those phases when they get married its just how things work... What's your point anyway?"
In a survey of 10,000 women who Claimed to be happily married, over 99% of those women when asked...
If you could have a once in a lifetime naughty, erotic, romantic, sexual adventure that would not and could not in any way ever negatively impact your primary relationship, would you do it?
These women overwhelmingly said YES!
Why?
Because Your Wife Is NOT A Married Woman.
She is a "Woman" Complete with all those fantasies, desires, hopes and expectations she's always had, she is an deeply sexual, passion and erotic woman who simply "got married."
And when she said "I do" she accepted "All of the roles" the concept of being married programmed into her.
She accepted the "program" for lack of a better word, that dictates that in order to be a good "Married Woman" there are certain behaviors and desires she is supposed to have and those she is not allowed to have.
But its a lie, its an illusion.
Those desires are still there, still lurking beneath the surface, desperate for a way to be fulfilled, or expressed and continually stifled by the activities of her day to day life, and then...
Enter The Romantic Hero, the guy who embodies all the characteristics and skillsets she's read about in her romance novels, fantasy magazines, bedtime stories, the kind of man who by virture of appearance, attitude or energy hollywood, television and evolution have programmed her to seek out.
Remember those 10, 000 women?
When asked what the biggest predictor for a woman to cheat was, the overwhelming response for these women to jump in the sack with another man in spite of being married or in a primary relationship was --- "the opportunity to do so"
The bottom line is this...
99% of women out there who are married are not being satisfied on the level they need and many aren't even conscious of it. That doesn't mean it won't erupt at the first opportunity,in fact all indicators are that it will and because I can tell you from first hand experience, A man with the right set of skills trigger it in just about any woman.
Most women will not sacrifice their primary relationship (security, family, postion etc) but she will engage in sexual adventures outside of that relationship when given the opportunity to do so with a man who exemplifies the kind masculine ideal she fantasizes about. She may even get pregnant by him and still come home to you. Sobering thought eh?
Let me state that In more blatant terms " the majority of women are highly predisposed to have sex with another man, possibly even get pregnant from another man, and then come home to you and let you continue to foot the bill."
Now I know that sounds a little harsh, sometimes reality sucks. But its documented.
but here is the good news.
You can change all of that.
You see the only way to truly cheat proof your marriage or primary relationship is to feed that part of her that still has all those feelings. desires, hopes and dreams.
These are the things that truly fulfill a woman. That keep her joyfully bonded to her man through thick and thin. That part of her that grew up believing life was a like a romance novel, or an action adventure.
How do you do that?
"Pickup and Seduce Your Wife on a Regular and Random Basis"
Treat her like a woman instead of just "your wife," or a "married woman"
You see those old triggers, behaviors, feelings and emotions are all still there.
I don't care if your 15 or 55. Those parts of us may atrophy, but they never die and they can always be reawakened if you know how.
Start doing the things you did before you got married.
Go to places where you shared happy, fun passionate romantic times. talk about those times, revivify them because when remember an experience you cause all of the original feelings to be re-awakened and with a little skill you can initiate the same behaviors from that time as well.
Also get really good at pickup and seduction skills.
Learn how to literally seduce your spouse.
You will make her feel like a desirable, sought after woman, she will look at you as her personal romantic hero and before you know your "marriage or primary relationship will have the kind of fire every couple really wants. You see women live up to the self image we give them.
plus,
If you are single, learning pickup and seduction skills gives you tremendous power and choice over what kind of woman you get to have in your life and how to keep her happy, loyal and faithful even into your "marriage years".
I Hope you guys found this useful.
If you want to know more about pick up and seduction skills as well as the psychology of cheating and how to really keep your woman, healthy, happy and loyal.
Write to me here and let me know what it is you really want to learn.
Talk to you soon.
Until next time...
Rock Her World and Take Names.
Sincerely,
David V.
PS If you really want to get good a the kind of sexual skills that make women beg you for sex and stay loyal to you forever be sure to check out my Free 7 lesson ecourse and of course my world famous
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